以谦卑带领敬拜

今天首次在Nilai Methodist教会带领敬拜。 怎么说呢？ 也许上帝想教我如何谦卑吧。

起先，我以’叫我抬起头的神‘为开幕，再以 So You Would Come, 耶稣我需要你，Thank You for the cross 来待续。 对众反应不错。但是接下来的 Shine Like Stars 却成为我心中的羞耻。这首歌大家都很不熟悉。本来想说可以介绍给大家，因为本人觉得这首歌还蛮不错的。但是俗话说啊：“期望越高，失望越大。” 我经历的正是如此。当我介绍起这首歌的时候，大家看起来闷闷的。我慌起来，结果接下来把整个气氛都搞砸了。

一直以来，我都深信上帝赐给我了‘台上秀’的天赋。回想起第一次在肖邦教会握起麦克风带领敬拜后，有数位姐妹会向前称赞几句，我的尾巴都翘得高高的。同样的，今天的我自信满满。我明白，带领敬拜主要是为上帝而服侍，绝不是要炫耀自己的才华。我也常常祷告，让神能够掌管一切。我祈求神说，神啊，我知道傲慢是我的弱点。如果我自以为是，你就大大的让我跌倒，我才能学习。

 果真，这慈悲的上帝聆听我祷告，给我今天跌了一脚。感谢主，这一脚不严重，是个小小的警告和提醒。虽然说蛮伤心，蛮难过的。但是没关系，这次的教训会让我下次更谨慎吧。

Visions

Humans. Humans everywhere. Being one of those, I withdraw from the circle. While sitting in this vibrant hall alone, I gaze my vision around. Thoughts deepen....

Six are in a group. Two heartily chatting. Perhaps the one with a red cap fit in not, self-absorbing in his screen. Probably due to his race.

Here is a lonesome guy sitting infront of me. Quiet. I wonder how does he feel. Wanting to get the enrollment done? Or feeling insecure? He has been staring the crowds for long. Finally, he moves his head a little..

Oh, and the queue. Patience. A life-long lesson. Every moment requires patience. Students being eager to finish classes. Hungry husband rushing home for delicacies. Mother-to-be eager for her child to be hatched. Drivers eagerly waiting for red to green. What is patience?

A Malay maiden has gotten her enrollment done. Relieved, she left the exit, seems enlighten.

I held up my head, there he is. Looking at me, as gentle as always. Assuring my existence. A little smile is coveyed. Warmth difused through the air-conditioned space, our hearts tied. Alas, it's his turn for enrollment. Well, I guess it's time. Bye. :)

Deep Pit

I'm sorry Lord, I failed.