Me or God?

I am gifted with various talents such as public speaking, drawing, playing musical instruments, and perhaps singing. I excelled in them during most of my primary and junior high school days by gaining much confirmations from teachers, friends, relatives and also won quite a number of prizes through competitions. I enjoyed presenting my talents to the public. I enjoyed gaining the attentions from people. As years passed by, circumstances tend to block my way from unleashing my potentials and I more or less stopped from what I used to do.

As the saying goes, '' Jack of all threads, master of none.'' I guess I perfectly suit this discription. Countless times when I reviewed back my pasts, regrets and anger would overwhelm me, I felt that I had wasted so much. I would scold myself for being such a weak ass. Whenever I see others being able to do better than me, I would get bitter easily, blaming myself that if only I had continued to work upon those talents, I would be like him/her for now. Then, I would spend the day being moody and frustrated. This goes on and on and on.....

Last Saturday, while taking my shower after dinner, an answer felt within me all of a sudden. God opened up my eyes and helped me to look from His perspective. It was rather shocking to realise that all these while, it was all about Me, Me and Me. It was all about wanting every attentions that I can gain through my talents. I wanted so much to stand above the crowd and be somebody, to the extend that I prioritised myself first rather than God. Think about it, if I managed to be good in everything, the questions asked were: Will I be what I am today? Am I able to be humble? Will I still remember God's existence since I can gain every confirmation from others?

These wild thoughts ran through my mind as I flashed back. Yes, indeed, I may have gained the whole world, but in God's eyes, I gained nothing. If it isnt God who has given me those talents, I could be just more than ordinary. Perhaps God had been wanting me to learn to put Him first instead of myself. Perhaps He wanted me to find confirmation through Him first, and then only use my God-given talents to serve for Him through ministries

The next day, I attended the church service and received a bulletin. Lo-and-behold, the moment I opened  the bulletin, a printed verse appeared right in front of me---- ''Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would NOT be a servant of Christ.''---- Galatians 1:10.

Ding. All that I have been searching for came with a straight and simple answer, specifically from God Himself. How cool. He cares. He truly cares. I couldnt be grateful enough for His grace. I understand, I can still use these talents, to serve God, to use them to glorify His name, not mine. To use them as a gratitude towards God. And to use them to convey my love for Him.  That is the true purpose above all else.

You know what's the best? The moment you turn your eyes upon Him and glorify His Name, He can do much greater things through you, touching people, changing lives. So, be prepared ;)

~Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms......If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.---1 Peter 4:10-11~


ps. God is good all the time; All the time God is good. :)